Why Decluttering Is So Hard: The Four (False) Values We Give Things

Mary Davis
18 minutes ago
4 min read

Part One: The most common reasons clutter stays put.

We’ve made it through the holidays and all the busyness and stuff that comes with it. It’s a new year, and the weather is making many of us want to (or have to) stay in the house. It’s the perfect time to turn your motivation to get decluttered into action.

And yet, even when we’re motivated…decluttering is still hard.

After a massive Kon Mari declutter on my own home over a decade ago and working professionally with clients for the past six years, I've realized this:

The problem isn’t the stuff, it's the value we place on it.

Most people don't struggle because they don't know how to declutter. We struggle because of the meaning or value we assign to our belongings, often without even realizing it. Instead of keeping things because they serve us, we keep them because of what they represent.

Over the years, I've identified four false values that make decluttering feel emotional, overwhelming, and exhausting.

In this post, we’ll focus on the first two - the most common reasons we don’t let go.

False Value #1: Monetary Value

(“I paid good money for that.”)

I would bet almost everyone has said at some point while decluttering:

“I can’t get rid of that; I paid $XX for it.”

It's that feeling that we're throwing money away, and it’s one of the biggest decluttering traps there is. Whether it's a handbag collecting dust on a shelf, a top you've worn once, or furniture that no longer fits your life, the money we’ve attached to the item can feel too much to ignore.

The Truth: The money was gone the moment you bought the item.

Unless you can return it for a refund, you won't get the money back. What you can get back is your space, clarity, and peace of mind, all of which have real value when it comes to our homes and organization.

“But I Can Sell It” - A Reality Check

I'll never discourage clients from trying to recoup some money, as long as it’s done with intention and realistic expectations.

Before attempting to sell items, ask yourself these two key questions:

Is the time investment worth a return?

Between taking photos, creating listings, responding to messages, dealing with no-shows, and coordinating pickup, selling an item can easily take two hours or more. If you end up making $20, was that time well spent for you?

There's no right or wrong answer, but you must value your time as much as your money.

Is there an actual demand for this item?

An item is only worth what someone is willing to pay for it. Grandma's china may have been a high-ticket item decades ago, but that doesn't mean people want it now. That means the resale value may be close to nothing.

Why Deadlines Matter When Decluttering

One of the biggest mistakes I see in selling items is listing them indefinitely. Waiting for a great offer usually means the item is going to be sitting in your closet or garage a year from now. My professional recommendation: If you're going to sell, set a deadline.

Put a date on your calendar. If that item hasn't sold by then, accept the best offer or donate it. Space has value too, and unlike the money, you can enjoy it every day.

The Easiest Way To Sell Clothing

Selling clothing is tough because selling individual items usually requires more effort than the item is worth. Resale stores like Uptown Cheapskate are usually the easiest route - but again, you have to have realistic expectations. You’ll earn less than selling directly, but you’ll save time with one trip.

Efficiency matters when you’re decluttering - especially when decision fatigue is already setting in.

Things to remember when selling clothes through resale or consignment:

Most shops want items that are current (no more than two years old) and in great condition.
Shops buy based on the demand for items and their inventory needs, not necessarily what’s the “nicest.”
Many shops have limits on how much they’ll accept, and may only accept seasonal items.
Most online resellers/consignment stores like ThredUp charge fees.

False Value #2: Use Value

(“I might use that someday.”)

Another common decluttering hurdle - saving items we might use someday.

We keep items because we might need them someday, or it feels wasteful to get rid of something in perfectly good condition. This belief shows up in every part of our home:

Clothes that might fit again
Kitchen gadgets still in the box
Skincare or makeup that’s long expired
Supplies for interests you no longer have

The Truth: If you haven’t used it by now, you probably won’t.

If that item isn't serving you now, keeping it isn't practical - it's making your space harder to live in.

Keeping Things Can Be Wasteful Too

So often, we keep things because it feels wasteful to get rid of them. If an item is sitting unused in your home, it's already being wasted, and you’re wasting space and the energy to manage something that doesn’t serve you.

Donate and recycle what you can, but if that item best serves you by going in the trash, don’t feel bad about it. Choose to get your space and energy back instead.

A Simple Rule to Use for Decluttering

When working with clients in their homes, I tell them to think about whether an item falls into one of three categories:

Do they need it
Do they use it
Do they love it

If it does, and they have space for it, it’s a keeper! If it doesn’t, that item isn’t adding value. And everything that takes up your space should provide value.

In Part 2, we’ll tackle the two most emotionally-loaded forms of clutter - items with Sentimental Value and Validation Value - and why letting go of those items doesn't mean letting go of what matters.

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If this post felt a little too familiar, you're not alone. Letting go of items we think have value is hard, and you don't have to do it alone. I can help you make thoughtful, judgment-free decisions about what deserves your space and energy. You can schedule a free phone consultation here to learn more.